dumb and jaded

clean since december 28th 2012

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im sorry

i have to do this. im not doing this because i am ending my life, but simply because this blog is tearing the one thing keeping me here apart. this blog is keeping me from attempting to move on from the thought of self harm. i will have to find another way to deal with my depression and anxiety because though this blog has given me the opportunity to release anger and frustration, it is holding me back and bringing me back to square one.i love this blog, i put my all into it but i am 13 days away from a year without cutting and its been incredibly hard and i am amazed i made it this long. with this blog i was blinded by the fact that i have someone right next to me at all times with open ears to hear my thoughts, my sadness, my everything. i need to move on from my own well being.

thank you to everyone who has reached out to me and saved me. 

love, shesjustdumbandjaded

i love food. i eat too much. its unfair because everytime i eat i hate myself. i feel full and i hate it. im disgusting, i dont know how i allow myself to behave like this 

morphine-and-cigarettes:

When someone is upset I’m scared of saying the wrong thing so I mostly just say “aw it will be okay” and it makes me feel awful bc when someone says that to me I just want to scream